The national conversation we're having about fired CBC star Jian Ghomeshi and the allegations of sexual violence made against him is an uncomfortable one.
Until last week, it had been relegated to offices and hallways inside the CBC and, through direct messages and texts, among many women across Canada.
The rumours had even penetrated into the society of Canada's elite.
Now things that were being whispered are on the front pages of the nation's newspapers and topping its broadcasts.
What was once in the shadows is now in the open.
I have never met Ghomeshi, never listened to his popular radio show – Q.
Until last week, he wasn't on my radar screen.
That has now changed. The allegations against him, none of which have been proven in court – have consumed all of us.
From school hallways after dropping the kids off, to media newsrooms, this is all people are talking and tweeting about.
Ghomeshi tried and failed to get out ahead of the story as it was about to burst into the open with news the CBC had fired him for what were for a brief time undisclosed reasons.
He suggested -- on Facebook -- the allegations he had physically abused women in his sexual relationships were being pushed by a "jilted ex-girlfriend", a campaign taken up by several other women he had had relations with which, he insisted, were consensual.
He argued sexual preferences -- in his case consensual BDSM (bondage, domination, sado-masochism) relationships -- are a "human right."
He said he had "always tried to be a good soldier and do a good job for my country."
While he was, "still in shock", he noted, "I am telling this story to you so the truth is heard. And to bring an end to the nightmare."
So far nine women -- including two who have identified themselves -- have contradicted Ghomeshi's version of their relationships, saying he was violent and sexually abusive without their consent.
The CBC appears to have ignored or downplayed internal complaints about Ghomeshi's conduct, while continuing to promote him, until finally breaking publicly with him last week, when it could no longer ignore the weight of the allegations against him.
By so doing, the national broadcaster elevated Ghomeshi's status so that, even outside the CBC, he became a figure many may well have perceived as someone too big to fight, while his good looks, charm and celebrity status meant he was popular with the women on whom he focused his attention.
Some have made the valid point Ghomeshi is being tried and convicted in the court of public opinion, without any criminal charges laid against him, let alone convictions. (Toronto police are now investigating after two women made complaints.)
If Ghomeshi was charged criminally, he would be entitled to the presumption of innocence and he would deserve a fair trial.
Instead, in one week, he has plunged from being a national broadcasting icon to a figure of contempt in the minds of many.
Still, it was the court of public opinion that worked to Ghomeshi's advantage up to the moment the allegations against him broke into the open.
Most would agree that what consenting adults do in the bedroom is of no concern to anyone but them.
This was the principle Ghomeshi claimed was being violated as his story became public.
But his multiple accusers allege there was no consent.
Actress Lucy DeCoutere said her relationship with Ghomeshi "went from 'smooching' to 'choking' and 'slapping' in a heartbeat."
Author and lawyer Reva Seth said, he "put his hands around her throat without warning, pulled down her pants and was, 'aggressively and violently digitally penetrating me.'"
Two women who wished to remain anonymous told the Toronto Star how Ghomeshi showed them a teddy bear he would turn around before beginning his abusive behaviour, saying "Big Ears Teddy shouldn't see this."
Obviously this isn't just about consensual kinky sex.
It's about a man, who was given power and status by a government-owned broadcaster, apparently to live a life with few consequences.
These allegations go back many years. There are many of them.
How could the CBC not have known? Why didn't it act sooner? What did the CBC know and when did it know it?
We need to put these questions directly to those at the CBC who had knowledge of these controversies, and apparently did little or nothing about them until now.
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